When letting go is the best thing you can do.
Tracy (@wa_tracy)used to blog at 365 Days: Mommyhood at 30. She and I hit if off weeks into beginning our blogs in January ’10. I remember her leaving a comment on mine one time that said, “What if we worked together on this blog stuff?”
And so we did. We became blog besties. We voted, tweeted, and entered each others giveaways. We had the others backs. We talked about where we wanted our blogs to go. We stressed about ads and too many reviews. We spent late night writing posts and guest posting for each other.
But last August, Tracy stopped. She explained why here but it threw me for a loop. I missed my girl, my other half of the blogging world. I soon had friends that started to blog and I made other connections, but her blog sat empty as a reminder of the friendship we had. Until now.
Nearly a year ago, I stopped blogging. It was abrupt, but it needed to happen. Blogging was taking over my life and I wasn’t able to figure out the whole balance thing. And well, my personal life was struggling. So I put my big girl pants on and abandoned the blogging world.
And I grieved.
I became a recovering mommy blogger.
And I settled in, still reading other blogs, still tweeting, still emailing. But still, I felt a hole in my soul. It’s because I heart writing. I mean I went to school to become a writer, and here I was, trudging through my days trying to teach high school students to be better writers. But where was my time to write?
I wanted back in.
But I knew that in order to get back into the blogging world, I needed some help. I couldn’t do it alone. I needed to make it a niche and find others who could write about the same things. Thus, the idea of Liberating Working Moms: One Voice At A Time was born. I would manage this blog. I would write for this blog. But I would enlist other working momma’s to be contributors and help carry the content load.
I spoke to my husband about it. He was extremely supportive of this idea, which I knew I needed in order to make it work. We are a team after all.
For a little over a month, plans were made, other working momma bloggers were enlisted, posts were written, and designs were done. The first time I started blogging, I rushed into it. It never was right. I always had some new idea to fix it. This time I wanted to take my time and make it right at the start. All ducks needed to be in their rows, if you will.
Then it happened. I launched the blog on July 19th.
Since unveiling Liberating Working Moms, I’ve had an overwhelmingly fabulous response. It took be aback, though. I was really worried. Would people remember me? Would they care that it wasn’t solely a personal blog? Would they read? Would moms, who weren’t working momma’s even care to read? And after one day, that worry ceased and I was back. I am back.
But then a new worry started. What happens if it happens all over again…the obsessing thing that is?
And then I became scared.
I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t want to let my personal life suffer again. I can’t let it suffer.
I get such an adrenaline rush when I see comments popping up on the blog. I get such an adrenaline rush to see people following my tweets and retweeting info about the blog to help spread the word. AND I WANT MORE. (Please don’t tell me I’m the only one here…I mean we all have this need of wanting people to like us and feel like we belong to something…right?)
But I have to take a step back. I have to do this right. I mean the whole concept of my blog is around existing as a working momma and figuring out how to manage it all, while trying not to lose my sanity along the way. And so this blog becomes another job, one that I have to operate alongside being a momma to a toddler, being a wife, being a daughter, being a friend, being a teacher, being a laundry service, being a cook, being a cleaner, being a boo boo fixer, being a grocery shopper, being a tear wiper, being a part-time co-sleeper, and really, my desires to being a writer.
Blogging is an important part of my life. It has to be in order to make my dreams of getting paid to write come true. But I have to remind myself that it isn’t “THE” important part of my life, which is reserved for my family. I have to keep reminding myself.
I’m really glad I decided to get back into the blogging game during the summer. I have time at home during the day to figure the kinks out of this blog, amidst my part time WAHM gig as an online summer school teacher, and amidst trying to keep my toddler Abby happy and safe. I have time right now. Sort of.
But I’m still scared.
By the end of August I need the blog to be running seamlessly. I need posts written and scheduled to publish, not only from me, but from contributors. I need to figure out guidelines for others who want to be a part of the blog. And I’ve got one month to do it.
I’m going to do it. I’m determined. You don’t just let your passions go to the wayside. You aren’t a complete person if you do so.
And in this completeness, I need to remain slightly scared. It’s the only way I will remember not to let blogging take over my life.
Check out her new blog: Liberating Working Moms: One Voice at a Time