This post has been in the works for, oh, 6-9 months. Maybe longer. I just never got around to writing it because it seemed like there was always tomorrow. Or the next day. Or whenever.
And now look.
The thing is, I am a terrible procrastinator. When it comes to things I have to do, I put them off till the very last minute. No matter how much I stress, how it eats away at me, how much I tell myself I’d feel so much better if I’d just get it done; I can’t. It’s true with many things, but I’ve noticed it’s especially true about writing.
My blog has been, for the past 21 months, a place where there is rarely a schedule. I post when I want, I don’t post when I don’t want to. If something comes up, I don’t worry about my blog. It can wait. I’ve loved this part of it, the freedom that I answer to no one on here.
But I know in some ways, this may have to change a bit. If I want to write as a job, I’ll have to learn to meet deadlines and set time goals for myself. I’m not the greatest when it comes to mental self control, so even thinking about how to do this is a real challenge. I need to be able to set a schedule, with flexibility, for myself like I do with Bella. Like I did as a teacher. I somehow need to find a time to focus on here, not flip from tab to tab in my ADD while browing a million sites only to find a spent an hour doing nothing much. An hour that I could have really done something with.
Lately I’ve started to see offers and ideas come in because of my blog. Book reviews, a giveaway here or there of a product I adore, and contributing on other sites. Certain things are happening that could lead to other things, and if I can’t pull it together, I feel like it might all slip through my hands. How could it not? Procrastination could very well be the part of me that causes me to not reach where I want to be.
But where do I start? How do I pull myself out of a horrible habit I’ve had since, well, forever?
I bought a desk today to set up my things at. I plan on writing there for a portion of Bella’s nap. It’s going to take more than this though, it has to take me overcoming the “What about later?” voice in my head to make myself do what I need to do. I feel like I need to make myself a reward sticker chart. Or have an accountability team.
What do you do? If you work for yourself, have a great deal of freedom in your job or what you make money doing – how do you find motivation and hold yourself accountable in a realistic way?
Ugh. This is so frustrating. And you know what? Part of me just wants to put finding the solution off. For a little while.
That’s not procrastination right? It’s just… indefinite waiting.