Yes, I’m telling everyone very early about being pregnant (announced it here yesterday). I’ve gotten a few (non-evil) comments over how early I am, and while I don’t feel I need to explain (after all, it’s my body and Sam and I are comfortable with our decision) I kind of want to explain.
I found out last Thursday at around 11am. Bella and I had gone for a playdate to my girlfriend Tanya’s home, and I was feeling sick. She laughingly suggested I take a pregnancy test, but I knew the chances of me seeing a line at that point were slim to none. But I figured it couldn’t hurt and she had a few left over.
30 seconds later I was staring at this:
My mind couldn’t quite wrap around it.
And then. I did what I vowed as a second time mother to be I would never do.
I told Tanya, “The line is so faint.” We ended up checking the instructions for how faint the line could be.
I know. A line is a line is a line. But when it’s your faint line, somehow all that common sense goes right out the window.
She was delighted, and wanted me to call Sam right then, but I knew on base he couldn’t get service often. Plus I wanted to see his face. I wanted to do something other than jump on the bed and shove the stick in his face at 6:30am like with Bella.
When I left to get Bella home for nap, Sam was already home. I suddenly got REALLY nervous. Like throw up in my mouth nervous. I had no idea how I was going to tell him, but I don’t do my own secrets very well so I’d have to say something soon. I took Bella in the other room, handed her the (washed off) pregnancy test and told her to go give it to Daddy. And she walked over to him on the couch, gave it to him, and walked off.
Sam just stared at it. I knew he was thinking, “Wait, is that a line?” so I said, “Look carefully.”
His entire face broke into a smile and he shook his head in disbelief. “Already?! You got the Mirena out like 3 weeks ago!”
I nodded, and said, “Well, that’s the way it worked with Bella.”
Then we snuggled for a while and watched Bella play. He kept asking if I was sure so over the next few days I took 5 more tests to reassure him. Yes, and me. This weekend we told our families and friends. It didn’t have the same shock value as Bella (we’d been married 6 years and weren’t sure we wanted kids before we secretly started trying for her) but everyone was thrilled.
I feel like I’m a broken record saying this, but for all you new readers; I had hyperemisis gravidarum (barfed for 8 straight months) as well as preterm labor, was 90% effaced at 30 weeks and put on bed rest for 5 weeks with Bella. So naturally a lot of people are worried, but we’re hopeful that with city doctors, more technology, and the fact that every pregnancy is different – I’ll do better this time.
As for telling early, I decided that the chances of me being sick again, the fact that this is my place to come and unload were all good enough reasons for me to write on this so soon. I also want to document the whole thing, because I didn’t get to do that with Bella.
But the biggest reason I’m telling is because there is a little life in me I want to celebrate. I realize that this early things can go wrong, but I don’t want to be afraid of this pregnancy because of that. I want to rejoice in it. I want people to know and pray for me and our family. I want to come on here and say I’m having a rough day, or I craved yellow cake with white frosting and have everyone know why. I want to remember every moment of this pregnancy – regardless of how it all goes.
I tell myself, “Today I am pregnant. And I am thankful.” I am. That is my motto, come what may over the next months. I am pregnant. I am thankful. And I’m choosing to share it with all of you – gladly.