I dreaded this day. Tuesday. June 12th.
It was the day of my baby shower.
Instead it became Preston and Julian’s memorial service.
And I dreaded it.
Only it ended up being a meaningful, wonderful day. I spoke at it, I don’t recall much of what I said but I tried to reiterate my “When God Says No” post. And to try to explain that no matter what the state or government says about them, they were alive. I saw it, I held them. They lived. Paperwork to prove it or not. 20 weeks or not.
My dad officiated the service. My family and friends came. People I hadn’t seen in years. One I’d never met but had friended online 3 years ago. (Hi Melissa again!) They laughed and cried and shared with me. It was the most amazing day.
I wish it would have never happened. I wish I had gotten my shower. That they would have all shown up with me nearly 26 weeks pregnant and glowing.
But this is about learning to accept and to move on with a new life, one they changed forever.
So until I see them again, we remember their tiny lives in a way only humans are able to.