Fall in Love with Vulnerability.

September 20, 2012

Daring Greatly ReviewNo one likes to expose their ugly. Their sadness. The hard times and the pain. It’s so easy (especially with blogs and Facebook) to think over and over “Everyone seems to have it together but me…”

In truth? We are all becoming masters at hiding any kind of vulnerability.

Brené Brown writes in her powerful, thought provoking book Daring Greatly on this. How we are all so caught up in the perfection side of life. How everyone sees admitting anything less is a weakness.

The most interesting part about this book was how Brené explained the judgement that men and women place on themselves. How we can admire someone for being so open, so honest, so candid, and yet hate and hide that in our own life.

There is a pull for mothers to be the “all” in life. And no matter what you choose, it’s wrong. If you work, you’re neglectful. If you stay at home you’re wasting your time. Being good at motherhood means being fantastic at it all – looks, weight, cooking, kids, cleaning, sex, PTA, it’s all there. There is no good enough anymore. There is only the way you arrange your life to present everything as perfect.

How sad.

Daring Greatly made me think so hard about my life. How after we lost the boys, there was a part of me that desperately wanted to create perfection because my life had been tipped over – and I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Looking back, it was both a blessing and a curse to do that to myself. It pushed me to do things I might have never done before, but it also hindered the grief process in many ways.

Each time I blog on here, I get a comment or email from someone saying, “Me too.” Which spurs me to write again, to open up again, to chance the “What a freak show you are” comments because maybe someone, somewhere, gets what I’m trying to say. It’s not easy. I have a tendency to open up and then cover it back up again with just loveliness.

Reading this was a breath of fresh air to my soul that struggles with never being perfect.

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.



  • Kiki

    September 23, 2012 at 11:25 am

    I want to encourage you in being open, honest and true in your journey. Satan and evil hide in the dark. God can shine His light through you in the way you are sharing your journey (even if others don’t agree with you). I kept my pain all to myself and I believe it made it SO much worse. I continue to pray for you, Sam and Bella.

  • Robin

    September 21, 2012 at 5:56 pm

    When I became a Christian, I believed I could tell everyone in my church community about my life – about my family and its dysfunction, and about my flaws. I was naive. Even the most loving intentions are not perfect, and I felt judged by the very people who encouraged me to give my ‘testimony’. Ideally, true relationships/friendships are built on trust and the ability to be vulnerable. I learned to be selective.

  • Tweepwife

    September 21, 2012 at 11:22 am

    I love this concept and believe that daring to be vulnerable is the only way to live with authenticity. Life is never perfect. We all have our stories and it is in these real connections that true relationship, true being known, can happen.

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