I am easily confused.

October 14, 2012

For years, Sam made the coffee in our marriage. I wasn’t a fan of coffee at all, and I didn’t want to learn how to make it. It all seemed very complicated.

No laughing. You’ll see how right I was.

But once I got hooked, I learned how to make a good cup of coffee – in our French press, in the expresso maker, and tried to in the pot. But the last one did me in. No matter how hard I tried, it came out too strong. And Sam would always say, “Man, how many scoops did you put in?”

I’d reply, “Just like it says on the bag – a little more than one tablespoon per cup.”

And since we fill the water up to the 8 line in the coffee maker, I naturally put in 10+ heaping tablespoons. Because it was 8 cups of water.

The odd part was – once I used a glass measuring cup, and exactly 6 cups of water later, I was already past 8 cups in the pot. Which puzzled me. How was this possible? Was our measuring cup wrong? Had I bought a defective one? Was I cooking and baking with something that added 2 spare cups to each 6 cup recipe? That’s why we have enough pancakes to feed an army…

Last night I went to make coffee and asked Sam again, “How many tablespoons?”

“A scoop for each cup in there.”

“Oh!” I said remembering,” I meant to tell you, wait, let me find it…” I pulled out the measuring glass. “This piece of crap is wrong. I can measure EXACTLY 6 cups into that machine and it marks it up to the 8 line. So something is off and I bet you anything that’s why we end up with so many pancakes too.”

He stared at me and said slowly – “The cup line is 6 oz. For every ‘cup’ of coffee. That’s why the bag says one tablespoon per 6 oz.”

HEAD.EXPLOSION.

What the heck – who came up with a new way of measuring a cup and casually put it on the coffee bags for all of us tired housewives to be fooled by?

Also – my Twitter blew up with other women who had no idea so I am NOT the only confused by coffee one out there.

Lame. People should make coffee making much simpler for us. I mean, that is way too much for me to ponder for like – 4 years.

Also? This means the massive amount of pancakes are all on me.

15 Comments

  • Jennifer @ Also Known As the Wife

    October 18, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    Just another reason why I don’t drink or make coffee. I’ll stick to my Diet Pepsi in the a.m.

    Funny story though…I was trying to be a good hostess while Tim (the resident coffee maker) was deployed and ended up using instant coffee in the coffee maker. Yeah…apparently you’re not suppose to do that.

  • April

    October 15, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    LOL! I was wondering the exact same thing. My husband also makes the coffee most of the time, and we use large cups. And I never really paid attention to how much coffee I put in the amount of water, just what “seemed” right. As soon as I measured, it was WAY off. Good to know!

  • Jess

    October 15, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    I just want the new Verisimo latte making system from Starbucks. And then it won’t matter how many cups. And also? I wondered the exact same thing.

  • Gretchen

    October 15, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    This sounds like my hubby! I’m the only one who makes and drinks coffee in our house. He made some for my in-laws when they were at our house and they were like “how much did you put in there!”… it was funny! It took me some time to find the right balance, so you’re definitely not alone! My hubby knows now exactly how many scoops I use, but he still pretty much lets me make it myself… he makes it on Mother’s Day or sometime crazy like that! 🙂

  • Nicole at Mommy Moxie

    October 15, 2012 at 10:50 am

    Yep, that explains some things. I too have a coffee maker that grinds my beans so I know exactly how many beans to put in but am totally in the dark about grounds. We’ve had some interesting coffee around here since my husband talked me into buying a bag of Dunkin’ Donuts pre-ground coffee. Thanks but no thanks-I’ll stick to my Central Market coffee BEANS. Makes my morning a whole lot enjoyable when I don’t have to drink sludge!

  • Tracy @ The UnCoordinated Mommy

    October 14, 2012 at 6:45 pm

    That’s why I got this awesome coffee maker from William Sonoma, I returned like 4 wedding presents to get it, but it was so worth it!! It grinds and pre measures the coffee for you!!! Seriously, I was so bad at figuring it out. Now after reading this it seems so simple….. Still love my coffee maker though 🙂

  • Susan M

    October 14, 2012 at 8:57 am

    You are definitely not alone in this! We now have a grind and brew to help solve this issue. But when I go somewhere else, I am thoroughly confused!

  • Amanda

    October 14, 2012 at 8:19 am

    What! That makes no sense. How is anyone supposed to figure that out before they have had their coffee?? It’s a huge circle of decaffeinated confusion.

    1. Rebecca

      October 14, 2012 at 8:53 am

      LOL So true! I drink tea for my caffeine and I totally agree with the muddled brain before my intake, even though I’m a morning person by nature. (My babies drove me to caffeine but I’ll try to refrain from making them feel like I blame them. I look forward to that first pot of tea!)

      I had no idea coffee was this complex! When I was on coffee duty growing up, I just put in the number of scoops my mum requested, and never thought to look on the carafe for the messed-up math. 8 oz is a cup!! (And I’m Canadian, where we measure in L and mL, so why would they want to confuse me further when I’ve finally figured out some things in ounces?)

    2. Gretchen

      October 15, 2012 at 1:16 pm

      LOL!!! Sooooo true!

  • LDiggitty

    October 14, 2012 at 8:10 am

    HA! Don’t you worry, you’re not the only one who’s bad at math out there!

    I bet your coffee is AMAZING now that you’ve got the technicalities down.

  • christa

    October 14, 2012 at 7:53 am

    Kurig is the way to go, put in your k cup and push the button.

  • story

    October 14, 2012 at 6:41 am

    Oh I love the endearing honesty and humor in this post! My mom always taught me that in a drip pot you actually use one scoop of coffee per *2* (coffee) cups of water. Also that a 4 cup coffeepot only makes enough for 2 mugs of coffee.

    I have a Keurig now.

  • Bethany Paget

    October 14, 2012 at 6:36 am

    I prefer to stay in the dark about the whole cup of coffee actually being 6oz thing. Then I don’t feel so bad about drinking a half a pot!!

    1. Gretchen

      October 15, 2012 at 1:17 pm

      My “cup” of coffee is more like 12 – 20 oz, depending on the day! I drink about half a pot daily!

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