Yesterday I was 6 weeks. I had to wake up and take a Zofran.
This morning it was worse. I’ll have to start taking them morning and night now. I get terrible headaches along with nightmares from being sick if I don’t. Then I can’t sleep, I wake up and almost can’t make it to the bathroom (4 feet away).
I mean – I knew it probably would happen again. This isn’t the kind of morning sickness where I throw up and feel better, it’s that stupid boat on choppy waves feeling that lasts all day.
And THE SMELLS. Don’t get me started on smells.
Zofran does help. Tremendously, and I am so thankful for that because I know women that have absolutely nothing work for them. I can’t imagine. I had 11 weeks of grinding it out while being pregnant with Bella before a kind nurse gave me Zofran to try, and I can’t fathom feeling that way an entire pregnancy with no relief of any kind.
One of the hardest parts is that no one really understands. Being over dramatic in life anyway, this seems to be just another deal that I’ve blown out of proportion. You know – if I could just buck up and realize most pregnant women get sick and all. This is frustrating but having it for the third time now, I’ve learned that as long as Sam understands and helps a little, the understanding of anyone else doesn’t really matter. I’ve lost friends over this, people who can’t seem to understand why I just can’t go on playdates or meet for coffee or have them over. Because most of the time the first few months? I’m busy trying not to fall into depression and care for my daughter while feeling like death would be welcome.
Sam leaves in 3 weeks for 6 weeks to Georgia. My sitter that helps so much also leaves to move home at the same time. I’m looking for another while contemplating hiring a housekeeper for those weeks because any kind of smell makes me vomit.
I wish this wasn’t my experience with pregnancy, but it is. And as upset as I sound, it’s mostly just me venting to remind myself these feelings I have about it are valid, to connect with other women who get it and encourage me. Having a therapist who also had hyperemesis is really amazing, she gets it in ways almost no one else does. She’s willing to go the extra mile to help me during this time.
I remind myself there are worse things (for me) than moderate hyperemesis. Like being so sick and then losing my babies. That? That was worse. So even if I’m sick, if I’m also still pregnant it’s a blessing. And while I could be angry at God for having to do this again after going through so much, I’m honestly not. In fact, as I laid on the couch this morning and cried a little in disappointment, I imagined that Jesus was probably sad for me too. No one gets out of life without any raw deals, and this is just one of mine. I’m ok with it, I’ll make peace with this condition this time.
I know that I have one of the toughest challenges I may ever face, barring losing the boys, coming up. 6 weeks of being alone, working full time, and trying to keep up with a daughter, house, dog, bills, and life – all while being incredibly sick. But I’m determined to dig deep and trust God for His strength in all of this.
July 4, 2013 at 10:28 pm
It’s so comforting to read this. I’m 10 weeks with my first and feeling like I’m really ticking people off by not being able to do much. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who’s been so sick, and worried about people not understanding. Thank you Diana!
December 31, 2012 at 9:07 am
I hope you are feeling some relief now and then. The solution Danielle offered has worked for many women I know. Another suggestion (I know this IS hard to do) is to stay away from grains. While most of us think eating salty crackers etc help, it really keeps the cycle going. Stick to proteins (simply prepared chicken/lean beef) and veggies. The sugar in fruits can also keep the cycle going. I ate this way and it made a world of difference for me. Also, making sure I was super hydrated helped. I was drinking a gallon (128oz) of water (with a squeeze of lemon) a day. When I drank less, I felt nauseous. I would rather sit on the potty then bend over it!
About Sam being gone, get help! Please don’t be hard on yourself. Try looking at it ONE day at a time. Staring down six weeks can seem overwhelming. Thinking about the next 24 hours is much more manageable.
From Erma Bombeck about pregnancy “I’d have cherished every minute of it and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was to be the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.”
I’m praying for your relief.
Sarah @ OneStarryNight
December 31, 2012 at 1:15 am
I feel for you! I suffer BIG TIME with hyperemesis during my pregnancies and NOTHING helped even straight up IV’s of Zofran (I’m allergic to Phenergan). It doesn’t stop until birth heh.
I got through it because it’s, in a weird way, comforting, because it means those hormones are there.
December 30, 2012 at 8:59 pm
I am so sorry you have such terrible morning sickness. I am lucky in that I don’t actually get sick, however the nausea is debilitating! Hang in there. I appreciate your words of honesty about how you have lost friends because they just don’t get it. I have gone through the same thing. Motherhood is worth it, though, and only my real friends stick around.
December 30, 2012 at 8:36 pm
I have not walked in your shoes..
Wishing you ever less choppy waters by whatever method possible.
Sending big love.
Jennifer @ Also Known As the Wife
December 30, 2012 at 8:36 pm
I was really hoping the hypermesis would pass you by this time.
I feel you on being by yourself with a kid while Sam is off with Army training. Tim’s two week AT last year was a test of my patience and perseverance while I worked full time, took care of Sophia, and was trying to find the happy balance of my anxiety meds. This summer I get to do it all again with two kids for five weeks. I’ll be looking to you for tips on keeping it all together. 🙂
December 30, 2012 at 5:11 pm
I also had hypermesis with my son (my first pregnancy). It was TERRIBLE! ALL DAY SICKNESS. I took Zofran and 4 Reglan every day. I was in the hospital 4 days after finding out I was pregnant from dehydration. And the worst was that no one seemed to understand. I’ve found others online who get it but in real life no one seems to have heard of it and they think I’m over-reacting. Even my mother. Even my doctor!
After my son, I had two more pregnancies but they both ended in miscarriage. Neither of them came with any nausea, quesiness, anything. For so long I feared getting pregnant again because of the hypermesis but now I would gladly (well, semi-gladly) take the hypermesis again if I could have a healthy pregnancy end with a healthy baby. We are trying again right now to have another baby. I’m hoping I will be pregnant very soon. I hope this time is different but in my experience puking= healthy baby so I’ll grab my Zofran and stay near the bathroom if it means I can have my rainbow baby.
December 30, 2012 at 3:28 pm
🙁 I so feel for you my friend! If we were close I’d love to help you out in any way I could. Hang in there, and I’m sure you will find just the right helper in time before Sam and your sitter leave. ((Hugs))
December 30, 2012 at 2:26 pm
While I didn’t suffer from any severe morning sickness other than the usual certain smells put me right off. From my first pregnancy I couldn’t stand the smell of bacon frying and to this day – 2 pregnancies and 12 years later – I still cannot stomach it. Sending lots of positive thoughts and hugs. Hang in there. Hope you’ll get at least some relief along the way!
December 30, 2012 at 1:57 pm
I feel your pain! The all day sickness and horrible smells! I sat on the couch for three months with the last two pregnancies (thankfully mine goes away in the second trimester). I tried EVERYTHING, so with this pregnancy (no. 4, 15 weeks) I tried half a Unisom caplet and 50mg of B6 at bedtime and could get through most of the day feeling great. You might try it if you haven’t already! While the hubby’s away, get that housekeeper! It’s hard enough to be a good mom for those first few months WITH help let alone with the hubster gone. I hope you can find a good sitter as well. :o)
December 30, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Oh I know exactly the feeling! 🙁 When I was pregnant with my daughter I was nauseous the entire nine months 🙁 I was prescribed Zofran and I took it every day…but it didn’t help. I know exactly what you mean about smells, and just going out or doing anything. NOT POSSIBLE. I thought there was no way I’d be one of those horror stories you hear about..but I was…:( The nausea did not leave me until I pushed out the placenta. Whew. Blessed relief. I had lost faith I’d ever feel normal again!!
Here’s to hoping you feel better soon!
December 30, 2012 at 10:49 am
Praying for you and that God would bring just the right helper while Sam is gone!
December 30, 2012 at 10:43 am
I wish we lived closer. I’d love to help you out. For the first few weeks of my pregnancy with my daughter I had to be on meds because my progesterone was low. I was on that until 12 weeks so I didn’t miscarry. I was sick day and night. Puking never felt better, it made me feel worse. I can’t imagine going through that my whole pregnancy. I did suck on preggy pops. That seemed to help some. After I was off the medicine I was fine. I felt amazing after I puked. Odd I know. Lol. I also found that I had to stay away from garlic. That was hard. Everything has garlic. I pray that you will find help and that it gets easier for you all.
December 30, 2012 at 10:37 am
So sorry to hear the sickness has come. I know the all day sickness lasting almost my entire second pregnancy and I so feel for you, particularly with your husband and sitter leaving. Vent away…you deserve it.
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