Labor of Love {Video}

January 11, 2013

This might sound strange to some, but there are times I miss last May. I miss the absolute, total, complete longing for my sons and the feeling of being so close, remembering every moment like it was happening. I long to be that connected to them again, and wrapped up in my grief.

And so yesterday, I decided to put together a little slideshow of our time with them. Start to finish. I can’t do anything else but pray Jesus watches them till I get there, but there is an ache to be their earthly Mama still in some small way.

There are pictures of them in here, among other. They are babies; little, red, perfect babies. But I know this may trigger some of you, or others just may not be able to watch. It’s not gory, it’s just them wrapped up in our arms. All I ask is that if you do watch, please be kind. Know these are my children as much as if I were to post their 2 month pics on here with them chubby and smiling. It took a lot for me to put these pictures in this little remembrance of them.

I wanted to share it with you all, so you can see who you prayed and loved and cried for all those months with me. So they are real to everyone.


Memorial photos from the amazing Jen Swedhin Photography


  • Tina Rae Thompson

    April 14, 2013 at 8:55 pm

    I only just found your site, through an article about your unfortunate treatment while at the hospital with your boys. I loved the video, it reminded me of my sister’s first pregnancy which she lost at 21 weeks. Hannan was only a little bigger than your boys. I wish she could share the photos she has like you have done, however, I understand her need to keep them for herself. it hurts everyone in the family when little ones are lost. I will be praying for you and your next baby, praying for health, strength, and healing for your heart and your soul. I know your little ones are watching out for your family in heaven. And I know that they are happy to have a little brother even if he is older than them.

  • Chanelle

    February 13, 2013 at 9:45 pm

    This video is absolutely beautiful, heart-wrenching, but beautiful. It took a great deal of courage for you to share this with the world and I think your boys were absolutely perfect. I am so sorry for your loss but admire your strength and ability to remember and to share them with the world.

  • Mette Kramer

    February 6, 2013 at 11:53 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my son in 2010, and I too miss those days. I can totally relate to your comment, it does sound strange/weird to some, but I completely agree. My son was born at 34 1/2 weeks and we were lucky to have him for 35 days. I miss him, the closeness I had to him, and the narrowing of the world to him, his comfort, and each minute/hour. Nothing more than that. I miss that all-consuming grief I had at his passing.
    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your boys were just beautiful.

  • Sera

    January 25, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    I love how you’ve never lost your faith, that you held strong even through the worse of seasons. I love your tattoos they are beautiful, like your boys. You’re in my prayers constantly.

    Love sera_says ( from twitter)

  • Sarah

    January 17, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    Beautiful. What precious babies. Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful little ones with us all.

  • Vanessa

    January 17, 2013 at 8:06 pm

    Your boys were absolutely gorgeous. What beautiful little souls. My heart goes out to you. I love the tattoo tribute. Thank you so much for sharing your heart.

  • Ms. Future PharmD

    January 16, 2013 at 11:40 am

    This was so beautiful and moving (and I cried too much to watch the whole thing). Thank you for sharing it and I’m glad you could make it as part of your healing.

  • Katherine

    January 16, 2013 at 8:52 am

    This video was beautiful. Praying for you and your family.

  • Mimi

    January 15, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    Blessings sent your way for strength each & every day.

  • Zoe Alexander

    January 15, 2013 at 2:49 pm

    Diana, words can’t express how sorry we are to hear of your loss last year. I’m completely speechless at the moment. I’m sorry I couldn’t watch your video, but your words spoke volumes to me. You are such a brave lady and it’s great you have shared your grief – it helps alot.

    Zoe xxxxx

  • Anne Leigh

    January 15, 2013 at 11:30 am

    That was a very beautiful video and tribute to your beautiful boys. I am so sorry for your loss.

  • Isra {TheFrugalette}

    January 15, 2013 at 10:26 am

    So heartbreaking. Beautiful.

  • Amanda Hoyt

    January 14, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    This video is perfect. Thank you for sharing your sweet boys with us. They are absolutely beautiful babies.
    Praying for you daily,
    Amanda in Cypress, TX

  • Mary Kay

    January 14, 2013 at 6:48 am

    Diana – that was just beautiful. I wish I had taken pictures of each week when I was pregnant with Jessica and with Alyssa. May God bless you and lots of love and hoppy with new baby on the way.

  • Melissa F.

    January 14, 2013 at 6:01 am

    What a beautiful and moving tribute to your boys. You are a great Mom.

  • Larissa Andersen Connolly

    January 13, 2013 at 9:35 pm

    I have no words ❤… I lay here reading your blog once
    again and I am moved and inspired by your amazing
    strength and courage. Each time I read one of your postings
    I am flooded with emotion. From the first time I stumbled
    upon your blog; when I found out that I, myself, am expecting
    twins, until this very moment. My heart goes out to you,
    your husband, your beautiful daughter and the rest of the
    lives close to you~ that were touched by your angels,
    Preston & Julian ❤ This was absolutely beautiful and I thank
    you for sharing. Love, Strength and Faith sent your way xo

  • Larissa Andersen Connolly

    January 13, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    I have no words… I lay here reading your blog once again
    and I am moved and inspired by your amazing strength.
    Each time I read I am flooded with emotion, from the first
    time I started following (when I found

  • cindy luminoso

    January 13, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    What an amazing tribute to your beautiful boys! May God bless them and watch over them as well as your family <3

  • Jenny

    January 13, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    That is simply beautiful. I don’t know what else to say than that.

    It’s so comforting to me to read your posts. Over the holidays I lost my first little one at 5.5 weeks and now I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant again (only 3 weeks along but it’s all too familiar). I can’t imagine what it must have been like to lose the boys so far along. I pray every day for strength to just be at peace with whatever happens in this next pregnancy and beyond. I am so impressed by your strength and honesty here.

    Wishing you all the best.

  • Angie

    January 13, 2013 at 1:34 pm

    What a beautiful family the five of you are! God love you all and continue to bless you…

  • Julie B

    January 13, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    If God brings you to it, he will bring you thru it. You are one of the most amazing people God has put in my life, if only by computer. Thank you!

  • Kristin Maki

    January 13, 2013 at 1:09 pm

    Thank you for sharing…what an incredible remembrance of two angels. You are an amazing woman. Continued prayers for you!

  • Krissy

    January 13, 2013 at 11:16 am

    Gorgeous, beautiful, brave.

  • Katie

    January 12, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    Breathtaking. Thank you for sharing. Gorgeously handsome boys.

  • Karen

    January 12, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    Your boys looked beautiful. Tiny but perfect. <3 to you!

  • Krishann

    January 12, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    I am in tears. This was a beautiful tribute. I continue to be so touched by you and your story and I thank you for trusting us enough to share it. You are an inspiration and have such a beautiful spirit. Praying for you and your family.

  • Mandy

    January 12, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    This is a beautiful and moving tribute. I lost my baby at 16 weeks around the same time as your loss and I cried and grieved with you. So many prayers in your direction as always. Thank you for being so brave for sharing your life and their lives with us all!

  • Jessi J.

    January 12, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    Tears :'( They were beautiful and this is a beautiful tribute to their lives. Somehow, I missed your amazing tattoos, but I absolutely love them. You are continuously in my prayers and thank you for sharing your family with us!

  • Courtney

    January 12, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    I have followed this entire journey and am so grateful for your authenticity throughout. The video is a wonderful, perfect memory for your two sweet boys. It had me in tears.

  • Kizzy

    January 12, 2013 at 11:47 am

    You are such a strong lady, the video was beautiful as are your family. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  • Manda

    January 12, 2013 at 11:08 am

    Beautiful. You are so strong and so brave. Crying for you and sending prayers.

  • Heather

    January 12, 2013 at 7:17 am

    Thank you so, so much for sharing your beautiful sons with all of us. Crying for you, and wishing you and your family (and the new little one!) great peace.

  • Tracy

    January 11, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    Thank you for sharing your heart, your grief, your beauty. Sending you angels of comfort.

  • Raechel Myers

    January 11, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    Love you. And so blessed by your willingness to share your story (and Julian and Preston’s story) with us. You are a trophy of grace, Diana.

  • Roma

    January 11, 2013 at 7:00 pm

    Sending you healing hugs and grateful thanks for trusting us enough to share this beautiful tribute! God bless you and your family!

  • Sarah

    January 11, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    Oh, honey. How brave of you. I can grieve the losses of so many women close to me so much more deeply, now that I’ve seen this. Thank you for that gift. Praying for you.

  • Donna Magrini

    January 11, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    Beautiful, and, and I am honored you shared this oh so private part of your life. Thank you. And I cried the entire way through….

  • Ashley Gurski

    January 11, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    Oh Diana…….I can’t even……I don’t have words, I just love you, that is all.

  • Dee P.

    January 11, 2013 at 4:22 pm

    Thank you for sharing this most beautiful tribute to your beautiful sons.

  • Nancy

    January 11, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    I came over here from a link at A Cookie Before Dinner, expecting to see pregnancy news since that is what she had referred to and definitely wasn’t expecting this. You are so strong. May their memories be a blessing.

  • Allie

    January 11, 2013 at 2:49 pm

    Thank you for sharing – especially the pictures of your boys. I know it was really hard for you to put those up here, but they are beautiful.

  • Jenn

    January 11, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    Beautiful..thanks for having the courage to share this amazing and loving tribute to your sons.

  • Jill

    January 11, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    You are amazing, and your faith in God is truly an inspiration. Thank you for sharing this video.

  • Meegs

    January 11, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    Tiny, and perfect.

  • Allison

    January 11, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    What a beautiful tribute to your two little sons. You are truly an amazing person. Thank you for sharing your beautiful family with us.

  • Nicole

    January 11, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    Incredibly beautiful & touching. Thank you for sharing.

  • Alyssa

    January 11, 2013 at 1:31 pm

    What gorgeous little boys and a very touching video. Julian and Preston are lucky to have been blessed with a mom like you.

  • Kati

    January 11, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    Tears. And a huge knot. What a sweet, sweet video and remembrance. I lost my 2nd baby at 6 or 7 weeks. I pray that God redeems in a mighty way.

  • Kayla

    January 11, 2013 at 12:50 pm

    I am speechless. Thank you for sharing your boys with the world. They are beautiful.

  • Karen

    January 11, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Beautiful. I am so thankful for the hope we have of seeing our lost little ones again someday. God bless.

  • Ashley

    January 11, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    Beautiful. Simply beautiful.

  • Elizabeth

    January 11, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    Absolutely the most precious and beautiful video ever! This will go viral with so many moms and dads who will be able to relate to your pain and sorrow. I am one of them. I have lost four babies to miscarriage in the past few years. The pain is real and always there. Thank you soooo very much for sharing this priceless and beautiful video!

  • Callee S.

    January 11, 2013 at 11:41 am

    Thank you so much for sharing such a video. It was absolutely beautiful. Praying for you as you remember that your boys are waiting for you and your hubbie. They are learning from the Master and wait patiently for you. Praying for your constant peace during the days ahead and for the new life within you!

  • Abigail

    January 11, 2013 at 11:40 am

    They are so gorgeous and unbelievably tiny. Just absolute perfection. Thank you for sharing them with us. I wish I could give you a hug as I cry here with you. Sending you so much love.

  • ChristieH

    January 11, 2013 at 11:21 am

    This is beautiful, and I commend you for honoring your boys by finding every way you can to remember them and solidify them in this life. Love you and your family!

  • Erin

    January 11, 2013 at 11:05 am

    Thank you for sharing and trusting. It was heart-breakingly beautiful.

  • Suz

    January 11, 2013 at 10:53 am

    Tears of love are being sent your way. I charished the time we spent pregnant together with our multiples. Your boys were so beautiful. I thank you for sharing the photos of them. Hugs to you. You’re so strong & doing so well!

  • Shelia

    January 11, 2013 at 10:43 am

    this is so beautiful. thank you for sharing! it’s always so amazing to be reminded of how perfect babies are from the very beginning. God is so good and so creative.

  • Linda

    January 11, 2013 at 10:42 am

    That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing and blessings to you

  • Debbie

    January 11, 2013 at 10:14 am

    Diana, what a beautiful tribute to your little boys. I am a friend of your mom’s from high school and college days. I have followed your blog and have prayed for you this past year. You are an inspiration to many as evidenced by the many comments. Blessings to you, Bella and Sam…and for a future little one. 🙂

  • Joy G

    January 11, 2013 at 10:13 am

    So beautiful, Diana. I cried from the second I hit play. What a blessing that you got to see and hold them for those precious moments.

  • Miranda

    January 11, 2013 at 10:12 am

    This is absolutely beautiful. Amazing tribute to your sons. Thanks so much for sharing.

  • molly

    January 11, 2013 at 10:03 am

    They were perfect. Thank you so much for trusting us with this video ((hugs))

  • Joan

    January 11, 2013 at 8:57 am

    What a wonderful tribute to your sons. I know it was hard to make but be sure of one thing….they are smiling down from heaven knowing just how much their Mommy loved them and works hard at keeping their memory alive. Sending you a huge hug.

  • Julia

    January 11, 2013 at 8:42 am

    Oh, Diana. Thank you for sharing. Thank you. <3

  • Angela

    January 11, 2013 at 8:42 am

    Oh Diana — that was SO beautiful!
    Love & Prayers.

  • Sarah Polleys

    January 11, 2013 at 8:38 am

    What a gorgeous video. And what beautiful boys! Praise God for them in heaven. They are living what we can only hope for.

  • Debby

    January 11, 2013 at 8:33 am

    Beautiful. Absolutely, heartbreakingly, beautiful.

  • Amy@ahealthyandhappyheart

    January 11, 2013 at 8:29 am

    Such a precious video. Praying for peace knowing your boys are with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Thank you for sharing this

  • Amy

    January 11, 2013 at 8:28 am

    They are so beautiful! They are so loved! Thanks for sharing Diana! You are so strong!

  • Hannah

    January 11, 2013 at 8:27 am

    I found your blog through a tweet from Jessi at Naptime Diaries… this is a beautiful video and I watched it with tears streaming down my cheeks. You are such a brave mama and I am praying for Jesus to continue to be your strength through everything. Thank you for sharing your sweet little boys with us!

  • Gretchen

    January 11, 2013 at 8:25 am

    Amazing. Prayers for your wonderful family.

  • Sonya Morris

    January 11, 2013 at 8:24 am


  • Kathryn

    January 11, 2013 at 8:23 am

    Absolutely beautiful. I am so proud of you, thank you so much for sharing your boys. Faith. Hope. Love. Times two<3

  • Lindsey Nobles

    January 11, 2013 at 8:21 am

    What a beautiful tribute.

  • Cat

    January 11, 2013 at 8:17 am

    So beautiful. I cannot express how much this video touched me. I also long so many times for those same feelings, experiences, and emotions etc! Thank you so much for sharing this.
    God Bless

  • Theresa

    January 11, 2013 at 8:15 am

    Tears of love for you! Thank you for sharing your precious boys! What a beautiful remembrance you made for them. ♥

  • Jenny

    January 11, 2013 at 8:12 am

    Continued prayers for you and crying with you. ♥

  • Jessi

    January 11, 2013 at 8:11 am

    Love you. Love them. Thank you for sharing them.

  • Stephanie

    January 11, 2013 at 8:10 am

    Tears. It’s beautiful. My heart hurts for you at what once but I know that what is coming will bring so much joy. You are so strong Diana and I am proud of you friend.

  • Carrie Cochran

    January 11, 2013 at 8:05 am

    Beautiful. I love them. And you are so brave, so very brave.

  • Amanda

    January 11, 2013 at 8:02 am

    No words, only tears. And a swelling of love in my heart for you, your boys, your sweet family. Proud of you, new friend. So proud.

  • sabrina

    January 11, 2013 at 8:02 am

    Heartbreaking and yet beautiful! Thank you for sharing… so others can pray and grieve and hope with you. Hugs!

  • Allyson

    January 11, 2013 at 8:02 am

    What a beautiful Video. May it bring you comfort to know they are resting comfortably in the arms of Jesus. Wishes to an easy and safe pregnancy this time around.

  • andrea

    January 11, 2013 at 8:00 am

    Your boys were absolutely beautiful. What a wonderful tribute. Prayers to you and your family.

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