We’re Not Ready – But Almost

June 11, 2013

At this point in my pregnancy with Bella, I had:

  • the crib set up
  • the nursery painted
  • the clothes washed and in her dresser
  • 2 baby showers behind me
  • nursing supplies ready
  • way too many cloth diapers
  • and tons of extras.

With the twins, I had a registry and started to pick out things at around 16 weeks.

I am 29 weeks and 3 days with our son.

We’ve got nothing for this poor kid.

I mean, it’s not like we don’t have anything. We have the essentials from Bella because most of her stuff was gender neutral on purpose. We have a car seat, blankets, boy clothes given to us by friends, a few toys people have sent, a pack n play, swing, pink bouncer (like he will care). I have all my baby slings. Really, we don’t need a whole ton more. Unlike having twins, having another singleton means we’re pretty covered this time. I’ve had lot of reassurance that with more babies come less ::cough completely neurotic cough:: preparation in advance. 🙂

But Sam and I? We haven’t bought anything specifically for this baby. At first, it was me. My hesitation to buy anything until we knew we had a better chance of bringing him home. I knew it was ok for me to feel like that – no one has to have a registry or nursery done at 20 weeks. We’re moving just weeks after he’s born so that changes the amount of things we want to buy and then pack up.

As we get closer to his due date, I am starting to feel that nesting tug. A few weeks ago I asked Sam when he thought we should go get the rest of the stuff in case the baby came earlier than expected?

He had that deer-in-the-headlights look as he thought about it, then shrugged and said, “That’s up to you, we have a little while right? I kind of don’t want the same thing to happen as the twins where I had to put all their stuff away…”

And I knew – it wasn’t just me feeling that wave of tentativeness in regards to this pregnancy. He was too. In a way, it was so comforting to know. He remembered how painful that was. We are focusing on the positive of how far we’ve gotten this time and the odds he’ll come home, but the memories of what we had to put away at just 20 weeks in makes putting more away that much harder.

32 weeks. I think that’s our date we’ll go pick up the essentials for him. Together. I treasure the little things we had with Preston and Julian, stored away for us to go through from time to time. However, I’m glad we waited and let our hearts heal a little more with this baby. He’s just as loved. Just as wanted. It’s that part that made us wait.


This week I’ve written about:



  • Dealing with the Guilt of Another Pregnancy After Loss | Pregnancy Guide

    August 26, 2013 at 1:48 am

    […] and we took Bella to Babies R Us to get a few things. We don’t have anything yet some essentials from Bella, and we felt like we was prepared to start shopping things only for a newest addition. […]

  • Kiki

    June 13, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Years ago when I was studying nursing in college, I did a rotation at a local clinic for the less fortunate. A pregnant woman who was 37 weeks came in for her weekly visit. Her previous baby had been stillborn. I had to ask her questions about whether she was prepared or not. She had nothing, no clothes, crib, carseat etc. As I checked her measurements and listened to the heartbeat with a stethoscope (that was placed over your forehead to hear-yes-it was a long time ago!), I was SO excited and she seemed very detached. It broke my heart for her. I had to do this thing called Leopold’s Maneuvers which determines the position of the baby (head down etc). I was even more excited when I was able to actually feel the baby push against me as I touched her belly, I cried with joy. She smiled when I apologized and told me it helped her to see the joy I had for her baby. I asked her if it would be ok to have the clinic nurse call me when she delivered and she told me yes. Praise God, she had a healthy baby and they were bonding well.
    Being prepared doesn’t mean you love your baby any differently. The heart needs to protect itself. God blessed you and it’s obvious you know that.

  • Adam @ Hanging with Dad

    June 11, 2013 at 1:33 pm

    It’s okay, Elliot is still in the Pack n Play at almost 9 months because Isaac is still in a crib at almost 3.

  • Anne-Marie

    June 11, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    Take. Your. Time. And remember that he just needs your love! If you wait until after deliver, you could still do it all at diapers.com and it would show up on your doorstep before your supplies from the hospital ran out. So many hugs from me and Walt, who is big enough to give hugs (sort of).

  • Teresa

    June 11, 2013 at 11:29 am

    That sounds completely normal. Almost like you are subconsciously protecting yourself. (((hugs))) Hope you are feeling well and enjoying this pregnancy.

  • Jennifer @ Also Known As…the Wife

    June 11, 2013 at 11:16 am

    We waited much longer this time around to set up the nursery and break out the baby gear than we did with Sophia. I was so happy we did it that way. It allowed me to relax instead of counting every second making it seems much longer to my due date.

    Follow your instincts and your heart.

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