Did you know that my little sister Alyson is pregnant too?
She is. 13 weeks ahead of me.
It’s her and her husband’s first baby. It decided to be stubborn during her 20 week ultrasound so they’re still waiting to find out the gender.
A few weeks before I found out I was pregnant, I texted her to say what had been on my heart since she told me. I told her how I truly was excited for her, even if there were times I couldn’t express that. I said there were going to be times she’d probably think she’d upset me, or I was mad, but for her to know it wasn’t that. It was just me missing what should have been so very much. And I told her I was angry – really pissed that I didn’t get to be the auntie or sister or human being I’d thought I would be during this time. That her announcement had to be made to me with the utter care and hesitation instead of complete joy. That I couldn’t just be insanely happy and that was all. Losing three babies changed how I react to so much, and I hated it for her and for me, but I was really trying.
And then I told her I’d always thought we’d get to be pregnant together someday.
So a few weeks later, she was one of the first people I told when I found out. 9 o’clock at night. Scared to death. She talked me down, reassured me, told me she was so excited. She and I talk every day, and we’re hoping to go see them in June.
I have fears that go with this. Like how will I handle her having a baby if I don’t get to? 13 weeks apart isn’t much when your kids are growing up, what if my experience is always seeing her child with what could have been? But there is also the crazy part that we are both pregnant, at the same time, just like I had in the back of my head. That part is wonderful.
She’s my rock through this in many ways. I’m so very glad we get to do this together. Happy Sibling Day Aly. <3