I ended up at like 1200 words with only 3/4 of her birth story written and decided to divide it into two, possibly three, parts to spare everyone a small novel.
So having Charlotte was an adventure. You know that I fully expected to have her early, as did everyone else. The OB staff was all surprised when each week I’d trot in, larger and larger.
40 weeks arrived and I heaved myself to my appointment, contracting every so often like I had been for weeks. My Dr came in, sat with me for a few minutes, and told me they wanted to induce. I wasn’t surprised – my blood pressure was still sky-high and I was still in their high risk patient category (just not a high risk delivery anymore). They said they’d check how favorable I was when I got to the hospital (next door) and make a decision on how to proceed from there.
Go home, eat, get your things together kids. You’re having a baby.
Sam and I walked out a bundle of excitement and nerves. We picked up Bella from her hourly class, and since at that point it hurt to walk, I stayed in the car and asked Sam not to tell her until she got back. She climbed in and when we were all there, I turned around and said, “So Bella, Charlotte is going to be here today or tomorrow.”
The look on her face. Pure shock and then disbelief. I can’t blame her, poor kid probably thought it was never going to happen at that point. She finally said, “Are you serious mama? Really?!” She had the biggest smile and just jumped all around while talking. I explained it might be a while, we were going to go to her friend’s home like we planned and Daddy and I would head to the hospital.
We dropped her off with the amazing family that offered to watch her, and my heart just ached with all the prayers that I’d see her in a few days, just like I told her happened most of the time. Not every time someone has a baby do they have to go away for weeks.
I was admitted to that darn triage again, where I waited on a chair until they had a room ready for us. I walked down the hall to labor and delivery – and if it wasn’t the same room I had the twins in, it was its identical match. The nurse showed me where to put my things as I had flashback after flashback. She left saying she’d let Sam in the waiting room know to come back. I stepped towards the bathroom to change in to my gown and opened the door without thinking.
And there I was. Three and a half years ago, having my babies there, screaming in shock as my mom ran in to see me holding them. I leaned my head against the door and bawled for them, for our life after, for all the sorrow that was still to come. I remembered standing in the shower in there and holding my stomach, sobbing and confused.
Then – I knew I just had to go in. I had to face this place and make it a part of my story I didn’t look at with terror. I changed and stood in the mirror staring at my 40 weeks pregnant self, and said softly, “I’ve made it this far. Let’s do this.”
Hey everyone – looks like pretty soon we’re going to have a little one’s birthday. ?? We are so excited and so anxious. I’ll try to update as I can. Please pray for us, Charlotte, Bella, and the staff taking care of us as our story is so complicated. They are all trying to pass info along as we go. I can’t believe we’re finally here and it’s time!! Just want to hold her and know she’s ok. #BabyCharlotteWatch #40weeks