Today was our first day of school.
It started horribly. Everything went wrong as I tried to get things ready. Bella melted down about getting dressed (she has this thing about getting her stuff done in the morning). Char refused to nap. I couldn’t find my jeans and somehow ended up rather fixated on finding them. I still have no idea where they are. I cleaned the table from breakfast and my glass spray bottle dropped and shattered (to be fair I’m super surprised it lasted this long). I cut my hand trying to pick up the bigger pieces. The vacuum jammed when I went to get the rest. I found the problem (cardboard?) and realized the cattails Bella had brought home from our walk last night had been a favorite of our actual cats. And the little stabber pokies were all over everything.
I stood there, vacuum nozzle in hand, beyond overwhelmed and irritated, and for a moment I thought about calling it a morning. Let Bella play outside, we’d try again tomorrow.
Then I realized something – this is life. I chose to homeschool and I need to honor that calling even when the days are hard. It won’t mean we’ll never have days I actually do change plans completely. I did that even as a teacher when the kids were just off for some reason. But this quote popped in my head:
“Begin as you mean to go on, and go on as you began, and let the Lord be all in all to you.” – Charles Spurgeon
Today it was good for us to push through, because it set the tone for the harder days we’re bound to have.
I nursed Char and laid her back down, let the dream die about the pair of jeans I wanted to wear, compromised with Bella on what she needed to do, and while I knelt to clean up the rest of the glass, I prayed that God would protect our time homeschooling. Then I sat at the table and prayed with Bella. For patience and kindness. I can have a very short temper with her lately. She’s in a hard stage/age/whatever but I want this time of ours to be different from that. I want her to look back at her homeschool years, as long or short as they are, and remember that she loved being with me and that we had fun and tried our best. More than anything else, I just want her to remember them fondly.
It was a good day. A very realistic and hopeful start to first grade for us both.