Tattoos & School Days

August 8, 2017
Ignore the mess up above. I’m trying out new headers and can’t figure out how to get it to fit in the dimensions. 😕


This week is Bella’s second of school, her first full week. This morning she was a bit of a mess going. I think the newness has worn off a little, it’s sunk in she is going to do this. Right now, although I hate seeing her upset, I know it’s an adjustment we have to give time to. Her teacher let me know at Back to School that Bella is welcome to call home anytime if she’s having a hard day – but so far I’ve not heard a peep – so I think once she gets to school she’s probably just fine.

And she’s off to 2nd grade! 📚✏️✂️

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We’re loving the routine and her school. It’s a smaller one, there’s a total of 10 kids in her class. She has a friend she’s known from Girl Scouts the past 3 years she really likes. Because they try to support more of a self learning, homeschool atmosphere, we’re included in many of her activities and homework. The shorter days are such a plus to it all.

On a different note, we celebrated Kaden’s 4th birthday on Saturday. Sam surprised me by ordering a cake for it. I wasn’t sure if either of us were up to doing anything and that day and the ones leading up to it are really, really hard on us both emotionally. But I was so glad he did that. It made it seem like we started a little tradition for him too, and I was proud we were able to do both the twin’s and his birthday this year.

Happy 4th Birthday Kaden. We miss you so. 🐘

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After Char went to bed, I went to a tattoo shop down the road to get one I’d been planning for a while.

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Let me stop here for a moment. If you’re one of those people who have left comments before that tattoos are “evil” or a “sin” – this is your sign. Exit out now, I have zero interest in those silly opinions. And honestly – what do you expect me to do? Gasp 😮  and realize I’m going to burn👏🏼 in👏🏼 hell👏🏼 now and try to have them removed? No. I have NO regrets about any of mine. And since I have 6 at this point, I figure if God really hates tattoos I’m pretty much screwed so why not keep getting them? (Also, He doesn’t) 👋🏼

I saved Kaden’s heartbeat years ago.  It was sent by chance on the first draft of the study the HHV-6 Foundation and his cardiologist did on him. I kept it in my email thinking one day I’d want it and I’m so glad I did.

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My tattoo artist is incredible. If you’re in El Paso and get the itch for a tattoo, visit the Blue Panda and ask for Armando Mena.

I wanted color this time as I have two with just a hint of color in them. I also wanted the “broken” part of his heartbeat on my arm. I had my dad write out his name, and then we put a bit of the normal heartbeat followed with his abnormal one.

I couldn’t love it more. Honestly.

There’s something so, so therapeutic about tattoos. Everything about it; the planning, the pain of getting one, the after care – it might sound weird unless you’ve had one done. Then you probably know. It’s like – because he’s not here to mother and love on, I can keep that part of me less lonely by doing this.


  • Anne

    August 9, 2017 at 8:23 pm

    Tattoos aren’t my thing but when I lost my baby, I suddenly understood why people get them. You want to carry them physically on or with you somehow, and the visible scar on the outside reflects the one on the inside. Jesus carries his scars even in glory after all–scars tell a story! So it worked out for me that I was clutzy in the thick of struggling with our loss and ran into a corner of our coffee table, and caused a scar on my shin. Every time I see it I think of it as my tattoo, the scar I will always carry because of my loss.

  • Shauna

    August 9, 2017 at 10:35 am

    I was wondering how school was going for Bella. I hope things keep getting better. And I think your tattoo is beautiful, and God probably has way more important things to worry about!

  • Elizabeth Barone

    August 8, 2017 at 12:46 pm

    That’s exactly why I love tattoos. Your piece for Kaden is beautiful. I’m also glad Bella is adjusting to school. It sounds like a great place!

  • Tanya Redfield

    August 8, 2017 at 12:13 pm

    It’s FABULOUS, and Kaden and God are both smiling about it, I am sure!!

  • striddysmama

    August 8, 2017 at 10:16 am

    I absolutely love your new special and touching. ((hugs)))

  • Kimberly

    August 8, 2017 at 10:12 am

    It’s beautiful!! My son has chd . He had his 3rd open heart on July 11th. I have his heartbeat from 3 years ago. I want to do an anatomically correct heart on my upper arm with his heartbeat going across along with stitches at the valves. The dates of each surgery around it.

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