The last few days have been rough with Bella. She’s just been in this mood; whiny, early up, hard time going to sleep, one hour naps, falling apart at the tiniest things, refusing to eat. Mentally, I’m fried. I feel like I’m stretched to the very max. I keep tuning her out completely and half…
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To BC or not to BC. And to find a midwife.
ContinueThis morning I get the missing Mirena out. Hopefully. :/ ::must stay positive:: And then with it out – the question remains of what’s next. Do we use FAM for prevention? Or to expand our family?
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I wish I could say it’s all better.
ContinueSaw the therapist yesterday. I have anxiety. Big time. I also have PTSD. Which I didn’t believe because I’ve never been in a war, saw someone die, get shot, etc. But the therapist said that because the past 6 years in our home have been so traumatic in many ways, and we’ve just moved on…
{About Me}
Sam and I have been married since I was 19. He was 20. He's an OIF, medically retired veteran of the Army and Marines. We have 5 children - Bella was born in 2009 after a rather bumpy pregnancy and her first year was mostly crazy reflux. Preston and Julian, my identical twins, were born at 20 weeks in 2012 and lived only a few hours. Kaden was born full term in 2013 seemingly perfect, and at 4 days old he was found to have cardiomyopathy due to ciHHV-6. He passed away at 3 weeks old. Charlotte was born in 2015, and was a complete surprise to us. Each of them have changed our lives completely.
Currently I'm in school to become a counselor who focuses on trauma and grief.
I love Jesus - even though sometimes I get really angry and upset at the way our life has gone. I hope through my faults, insecurities, snarkiness, selfish nature, and general mess - my love for Christ and His work in my life shines through in my story.
{Recent Posts}
{Writing on}
